Famous Political Pundit A.B.Stoddard Wants a POTUS with a High Sperm Count. This Means War!

The Hill's chief editor and well known political pundit, A.B Stoddard has accused the current POTUS, Barack Obama, of impotence. She must have spies in the medical field or perhaps she is assuming he is impotent because he smokes.

I first thought that her desire for a potent president had to do with sperm count, but perhaps she is talking about erectile dysfunction. Which is it A.B? This is indeed crucial information we need to know for the political debate we are having.

With the US considering first strike capability, so that we can bomb Russia before they unleash their thousands of nukes, we would need a president who could shoot a lot of missiles, if you know what I mean. We don't want an impotent president who can't shoot missiles, for crying out loud!

A.B., kudos to you for wanting to blow up the whole damn world. For that to happen we need a president who can shoot plenty of sperm, in the attempt to impregnate Russian cities with complete and utter destruction. I will speak about Utters later, or maybe Udders.

And A.B, certainly you can't have erectile dysfunction or the missiles will go every which way. God forbid they would accidentally nuke the Square Mile, seat of all financial fraud and deceit. London doesn't deserve a president who cannot shoot straight and powerful missiles that could at least clear the UK!

So, Ms. Stoddard, if you want a manly president because you accept the concept of first strike, you need to tell us. Why else would you brand Obama impotent? Doesn't he carry a "big stick" and speak softly? Isn't that what you want in a man? Obama may be the one for you after all.

You don't really want world destruction based on the flimsy claim that we could win a nuclear war with Russia do you? I certainly hope not. Please don't throw around this potent and impotent argument anymore, because the ultimate potent shooter will have us all killed.

Disclaimer: This article is satirical, and while loaded with truth in my opinion, it is up to the reader to verify claims of this article, which are made in jest and are not necessarily proven fact. Some Claims are fiction.

See Also:

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