Adam Sandler Is Chosen for Super Hero Role to Shadow Lohan After Failure as Zohan.

Adam Sandler, who submitted a forgettable performance as an anti Terrorist Zohan in the movie, Don't Mess with Zohan, has been cast in the new movie, Looking Up the Skirt of Lohan.

The movie is a documentary following the actor as he works out his special relationship with Lindsay Lohan, the 28 year old actress that looks twice her age. Sandler had mixed thoughts about doing the documentary, saying that he didn't want to look like an out of control guy, but that he may as well get his unhealthy desires for Lindsey out in the open. Sandler exhibits super human heroics in staving off Lohan's advances.

Lohan, who can always use extra money, played a major roll in the movie, and proved that in relationships, she gets around. Rumor websites indicate that Lohan has had many relationships that are confirmed and a boatload of relationships purported to be rumor based. Sandler didn't want to just be a rumor, so he was quite aggressive in this effort to resist Lohan while getting as close to her as possible.

I stress that this is a movie, a documentary, which focuses on the dating behavior of Lohan, and that is restrained by the fact that Sandler is married, and has been for some time. He was Superman-like in his resistance to major flirting on the part of the aging diva.

Sandler decided to take on the human interest documentary, because so many people are interested in the richest man in the world who still lives with his parents. (Multigenerational living is cool and saves money, too.)

So too, are we interested in Lindsay Lohan, who is aging quickly, like the ghosts on Beetlejuice. However, she is a seducer, as gossip websites have her in bed with a cross section of Hollywood hunks. That behavior is found to be popular with young guys who like Lindsay but will have no chance of ever being with her. Are you rich enough?  

Adam disappointed us all as an anti terrorist on Don't Mess with Zohan, since he never acknowledged that the first terrorists in all this were the Zionists. Serving in the Israeli army in his role is pretty disgusting, if you look at the history of the Zionists in Palestine and you understand that Adam is an American.

We liked you once upon a time, Adam. But you crossed the line from supporting Jews, in your Hanukkah song (which is perfectly acceptable among a tolerant nation), to supporting murdering, killing, stoning, torturing Zionists (which is not rational). Perhaps you should read up on Herzl (who wanted to remove the native population as part of his Zionist doctrine back in 1895) and the Plan Dalet (which accomplished Herzl's goals with violence) before you make a mistake like this in the future.

Since your failure as Zohan, you have voiced support for Israel according to published reports. Come on Adam. My kids love you. But you can't keep supporting Israel when you look at the history.

In the meantime, Adam, we will be looking forward to your narrow escapes from the clutches of Lindsay Lohan, and watch your credit cards! 


Disclaimer: This article contains satire and humor, and while loaded with truth in my opinion, it is up to the reader to verify the claims of the article, which are made in jest and are not necessarily proven fact. Some claims are fiction. 

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