Donald Trump's Perve Per View TV Network

Donald Trump, cunning businessman that he is, has launched Perve Per View TV which is a new cable network. It is a bold move with a free cable element consisting of Hannity, Hannity, and more Hannity programing, along with old business news reruns. The Donald admires Sean Hannity, because he sees a lot of his own serial lying in the younger man. For the Donald, Hannity only lacks confidence to take over the world and kill off everyone else so America can be great again.

Perve Per View TV will also soon have a paid premium channel that will allow viewing of women and girls. It will be divided into two channels and called Grope TV and the Lolita Channel. Trump will be very strict, requiring only voluptuous women and girls willing to sign a form saying that they have consented to this deal. He will require that they lie about their age. Actually, it is more of a don't ask don't tell policy. 

Donald will be politically involved in the free aspect of the Perve Per View TV political coverage, inciting his followers to take out their anger in the street, as a means of competing with Fox News, who incubated the cultish Aryan Supremacist Leader in the first place. Any TV network guilty of incubating Donald Trump deserves to have its ratings die off. We look forward to this process taking down morons like Bill O'Reilly and force the lovely Megyn Kelly to move to CNN.

Trump will be very informal during these discussions, allowing his compatriots to call him the Big Orange, Trumpaloompa, the Great Pumpkin and Trumpkin. He will talk about politics, delivering ways for his followers to undermine the Republic. As of now, there are mainly reruns of Crossfire, and old reruns of Fox Business, which he bought the rights to since nobody watches Fox Business anyway. It will be like new programming to the deplorables. 

Trump will have one show called the Trumpkin 5. The five, headed by Greg Gutfeld, will all discuss the day's political issues in orange face. Apparently, orange is the new white. Trump is working on secret experiments to make his followers' children look a little orange. They will be called the Orangyans. The concept has been approved by David Duke.

These experiments will be carried out by Jack Meringue. He likes yellow, but was convinced by Trump to seek that orange look. There already are yellow men, after all. Trump wants the Orange Meringue people to only like American cuisine.  The Orange Meringue will only be associated with American cuisine. Jack Meringue has no known relationship to Josef Mengele.

Trump wanted something new, after all, with that special gene he has. He has even said he will donate his genes, and you can imagine how that will play out. He isn't offering the premium channels just to make money, if you know what I mean, wink, wink.

Trump will not allow old nicknames on his shows, like Agent Orange, Hair Hitler, Short-Fingered Vulgarian, Hair Furor, Humpty Trumpty, Alpha Molester, and any other nicknames not mentioned at the beginning of this article. He especially does not like being called the fascist carnival barker or Darth Hater or nicknames that seem to nail who he really is.

So, with Trump well on his way toward another career, I leave you with a real quote, something he said to Howard Stern:

 "No, I have no age—I mean, I have age limit. I don't want to be like Congressman Foley, with, you know, 12-year-olds."

What could possibly go wrong with Perve Per View TV and the Lolita Channel?

Disclaimer: This article contains satire and humor, and while loaded with truth in my opinion, it is up to the reader to verify the claims of the article, which are made in jest and are not necessarily proven fact. Some claims are fiction. The perverted TV concept is, at the time of this writing, fiction as are the secret operations to generate a superior orange race. The disgusting quote Donald Trump made to Howard Stern has been verified to be factual.

More Trump nicknames with some adult content and unfortunate religious references.


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